Friday, March 6, 2009

My Dad.. dad just texted me "hey what's your schedule on Sunday? let's have lunch." Ugh. I know, he's my father, I love him...and I should want to have free food with him on Sunday after I get off work....BUT he drives me nuts.

Mostly I just feel like he's really uncomfortable with my sexuality and it's this big elephant in the room every time we're together. My coming out conversation with him was more than a little uncomfortable.

Me: Um so there's something I should tell you.
Dad: Shoot.
Me: Well, I'm a lesbian...and mostly I wasn't going to tell you about it until I was in a really serious relationship and you needed to know about it, but apparently Robbie (brother) has been running around spouting off things like, "Everyone thinks Cassie's so perfect but she's a LESBIAN!" I just didn't want you to find out like that, because well that's pretty shitty. And anyways, you know.
Dad: Well, it's your life and I can't really tell you what to do with it.
Me: Yeah...I guess so. I dunno I just didn't want you to hear from someone else if that makes any sense.
Dad: I won't hold it against you.
Me: Cool...anyways I'm dating a girl that I work with and I'm happy.
Dad: I see.

Basically after that I steered the conversation away from the subject and we really haven't discussed it since (almost a year ago). He's met Kara. It was one of the most awkward things ever. He was polite but didn't really say anything.

On the handful of occasions where I've seen my dad and Kara was with me, he has completely ignored her but in a sort of non-confrontational way. Also when I mention her in conversation he pretends it never happens.

I guess this post is mostly just to vent about the way he acts about it. Mostly it's just ignored so I don't really have any idea how he feels about it. For all I know he may think that it was just a phase that I've already outgrown??? I'm assuming not since I have mentioned Kara a few times and once he went to her store and asked her if she knew where I was.


Parents can be so fun...


1 comment:

  1. I feel for you on this one kiddo. My Mom, bless her soul, was the same way. Years ago when my Niece was getting married the conversation with my Mom went like this…..Mom: you coming to L’s wedding? Me: I was thinking about it. Mom: you’ll be coming alone right? Me: no, Rosemary is coming with me if I go. Mom: I wish you would come alone. Me: Ok, if Rosemary can’t go neither am I. Mom: OK. And I didn’t go.

    Yet any and ALL of Rosemary’s family accepted me with open arms, hugs, kisses and all the lasagna and Italian sausages that I could eat. And this year my Dad stood up for me and Rosemary when we got married. Crazy right?

    So it’s a personal and individual process people have to go through and the best thing to do is keep talking to your Dad like it’s nothing special and no big deal. He’s got to get use to you being a lesbian and the only way for him to do that is for you to be yourself.

    Go get that free food Girl!