Friday, February 27, 2009

What is it with gay girls and Christian college?

Seriously? There are two Christian colleges in the (smallish) city I live in. Can I just say how many "straight for Jesus" girls there are that go there. Maybe it's just a midwestern thing, but the "straight for Jesus" crowd kills me.

What do I mean by "straight for jesus"? You know those girls (and guys) that are just obviously gay. They set off your gaydar from a mile away.

Suspect Checklist:
-mens jeans (check)
-wallet in back pocket (check)
-faux hawk (check)
-never spotted with a man (check)
-very, very close with female "roomate" (check)
-intense eye contact and lots of hand touching with women (check)
-all around lesbian vibe (check)

Then you get online to check out her facebook status...because you are a stalker...

Education: Bible College
Interested in: Men

Then you check out her facebook photos, just to see how much she loves men....and there are absolutly NO pictures of her within 5 feet of a man.

I'm just saying.

To quote a friend, "The Jesus in Missouri is really hardcore." I understand that for these girls it is essential for them to stay closeted. They would be kicked out of college and possibly lose their friends and the support of their families. really, really sucks. What sucks even more is that I'm certain some of them will end up settling for a relationship with a man to please their families and religious communities. It's sad that people are not more accepting.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

An introduction is in order

Right. So I never really formally introduced myself or anything and I've been thinking about how it's probably necessary.

So my name is Cassie. I'm a 21 year old lesbian. I have been out for about a year. It's both harder and easier than I ever thought. I have an amazing, fantastic, gorgeous, girlfriend. Her name is Kara. I could go into more details about her being super but I'll spare you the vomit factor. Know that she's awesome. We live together in a little one bedroom apartment that is constantly a mess.

I live in Missouri (and no not anywhere that could ever be considered a cool part of Missouri). I think Republicans outnumber everyone else 3 to 1. So I live in Republican central, Bible Belt, USA. It's fantastic (and by fantastic I mean why the hell do I still live here?) Fred Phelps practically lives next door. In order to get into my current apartment I had to imply that I loved Jesus a lot...that's all I'm saying.

I grew up in an even smaller and more conservative town in Kansas. The coolest thing about Kansas is The Wizzard of Oz is set here. You can visit various Wizzard of Oz themed towns in Kansas. I have visited a yellow brick road. There may be embarassing pictures of that somewhere. Also I know all about Kansas history if anyone needs to know something for trivia purposes.

I work as a barista at a corporate America coffee shop. The company I work for likes the gays. That's good. The job is fine. There are lots of interesting customers who say lots of really weird things. I've also got most of a college degree in Commercial Graphics. I have one class and an internship left. Then I will have a degree. I should get on with that...but well procrastination is cheaper and less terrifying.

Ta da. An introduction.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Hottness of the Week: Jillian Michaels

How on earth did Jillian Michaels get so hott? Seriously?

I love girls in vests!
She is also rumored to be a lesbian. I can't find 100% confirmation but I think it's pretty obvious and so does everyone else. Also she owns a gym with Jackie Warner...come on!
Want. To. Fuck.
Jillian on a motorcycle=lust

Monday, February 23, 2009

Who hates Ellen?

Seriously! Who are these people? Can you really hate this face?

I'm working at the coffee shop. This conversation really happened:

Me: Who's your favorite talk show host?
Them: *confused*
Me: You know, talk shows? Mine is Ellen.
Them: Oh.....(someone I've never heard of)
Me: Hmmm...I've never really heard of him. I'm sorry.
Them: If you like Ellen, you probably wouldn't have.
Me: *shrug* I guess not. *hand off coffee*
Them: Have you ever heard of _____?
Me: No
Them: ______?
Me: No....
Them: Rush Limbaugh?
Me: Oh, yeah. I've heard a couple of his interviews before....
Them: He's amazing
Me: *runs to back room and gags*

Seriously though, I didn't even think it was possible to hate Ellen!

This is what I get for living in a city that ranks in the top 20's on the "highest percentage of republicans" list.

Can't. Handle. It.