I want more gay friends...more specifically more lesbian friends. No offense but I know pleanty of gay boys and while they can be fun that's not what I want right now.
I guess jumping right into my relationship with Kara sort of led me away from trying to male friends with other lesbians when I was first coming out. I was pretty consumed in her and wasn't really interested in anything else, especially tring to meet other lesbians.
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It is hard finding a big enough group of people to form a proper community out of which you'd select a proportion to be your 'friends'. When you are stuck in a small town, like me, all the LGBT people stick together, which gets so incestuous and complicted with 'inter-f*cking-connectedness' (as Bette Porter so eloquently put it) that you feel like you'd rather not have a place within the community and 'go it alone' than put up with all the bitching and sniping and seeing everyone's ex-lovers date everyone else! I did that for three years and avoided all the queer events, etc. However, although my straight friends wouldn't mind me talking about queer issues and were willing to be supportive and interested - it just wasn't the same. I missed the queerness. So I've just gone back - just last night. People new to the group were like 'Oh, have you just moved here?' - and I was laughing with old friends saying 'No,no, been here nine years...I just stopped coming to these gigs...' But I guess it isn't really funny at all; I missed out on the community, the friendships and probably a bit of romantic intrigue. I'm glad I'm back in the fold.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I gather that happens a lot. Idk I would just really like to feel part of a community...
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