Forget my previous statement about not ranting about Prop 8. I am thoroughly disappointed in the state of California!
I know that the previous generation only hoped to be worrying about gay marriage. I know the in some states gay people can still be evicted from their homes or fired from their jobs just for being gay (hello Missouri).
I know that the fact it's even being talked about is a big deal, but it's not enough. LGBT individuals will eventually share all of the same rights as the rest of the population. It's just a matter of when.
Still, California has a history of being socially progressive. For me, a person who has always lived in the very conservative midwest, I like to look at more liberal states as a source of hope, as an example of changes that will hopefully make their way to middle America in the next decade. This is why I'm so disappointed that California upheld Prop 8. All the Missouri conservatives just nod their heads knowingly and say things like "it's about time people in California got some sense," and well that just makes me feel sad and defeated.
<3
Showing posts with label midwest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label midwest. Show all posts
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Graduation update
Well graduation was Sunday and I lived through the day. Success!
First Kara got mad at me because she felt under dressed and wished I would have told her more about the dress code before hand. Fair enough! Turns out her outfit was fine anyways.
Fast forward to graduation. I felt the eyes of a lot of people but thankfully nothing too awkward happened. Ironicly enough the 40ish lady who had a live in girlfriend for several years sat right behind us (with her husband, this gross burly man...ick).
My dad came and there was a very awkward exchange between him and my brother. Fortunately it was civil which is a start.
I talked to him while Kara was in the bathroom to minimize the uncomfortable factor. Later dad came over to where the two of us were standing and talked to me, completly ignoring Kara. Mom rescued her and they went in a different area of the gym. As Kara walked away he looked her up and down and seemed very unimpressed by her existance. The awkward father saga continues!
<3
First Kara got mad at me because she felt under dressed and wished I would have told her more about the dress code before hand. Fair enough! Turns out her outfit was fine anyways.
Fast forward to graduation. I felt the eyes of a lot of people but thankfully nothing too awkward happened. Ironicly enough the 40ish lady who had a live in girlfriend for several years sat right behind us (with her husband, this gross burly man...ick).
My dad came and there was a very awkward exchange between him and my brother. Fortunately it was civil which is a start.
I talked to him while Kara was in the bathroom to minimize the uncomfortable factor. Later dad came over to where the two of us were standing and talked to me, completly ignoring Kara. Mom rescued her and they went in a different area of the gym. As Kara walked away he looked her up and down and seemed very unimpressed by her existance. The awkward father saga continues!
<3
Monday, April 20, 2009
Apartment Situation...
I'm a little worried about our apartment situation. Here is the back story.
I rent a one bedroom apartment. It's low income. I think funded partially by HUD? Idk. All I know is the rent is cheap and I had to qualify to live there. I moved in in August. Kara has never spent a night away from the apartment. She has officially lived there since October (aka started paying half the rent and finished her hostile takeover of the closet).
The apartments are infamously hard to get into...but I knew some people who had lived there and happened to know someone who was moving. Then when I filled out the application I name dropped Jesus and Vacation Bible School. Keep in mind I don't really identify as Christian but everyone I know who has lived there went to Christian College and the lady had Jesus pictures and stuff all over the office. Anyways she called the next day to say I got in.
Fast forward to now...mostly I'm just a little worried the land lady is going to find out that two people live in our apartment and that we're gay and then we'll have to move. Technically Kara's address is still with her parents but idk if the post office is really the deciding factor in these things... Also sometimes we have sex a little loudly...what if our neighbors complain or something?
Random things I worry about...oh the midwest. Have you ever had to name drop Jesus to get into an apartment?
<3
I rent a one bedroom apartment. It's low income. I think funded partially by HUD? Idk. All I know is the rent is cheap and I had to qualify to live there. I moved in in August. Kara has never spent a night away from the apartment. She has officially lived there since October (aka started paying half the rent and finished her hostile takeover of the closet).
The apartments are infamously hard to get into...but I knew some people who had lived there and happened to know someone who was moving. Then when I filled out the application I name dropped Jesus and Vacation Bible School. Keep in mind I don't really identify as Christian but everyone I know who has lived there went to Christian College and the lady had Jesus pictures and stuff all over the office. Anyways she called the next day to say I got in.
Fast forward to now...mostly I'm just a little worried the land lady is going to find out that two people live in our apartment and that we're gay and then we'll have to move. Technically Kara's address is still with her parents but idk if the post office is really the deciding factor in these things... Also sometimes we have sex a little loudly...what if our neighbors complain or something?
Random things I worry about...oh the midwest. Have you ever had to name drop Jesus to get into an apartment?
<3
Monday, April 6, 2009
Maybe you shouldn't talk about that on the floor...
Today at work was my three and a half year review! Wow...it doesn't really seem that long (and at the same time it feels like forever).
We talked about the usual stuff: how I am amazing at my job, how much I do for the store, and how my approach for coaching conversations could use some finesse, etc.
Then comes this: "I don't know how to put this but maybe you shouldn't discuss your sexuality on the floor."
What!
I was just like really? Really? And then went into a fifteen minute lecture on how I was completely allowed to discuss my sexuality and relationship on the floor just like every other person who works there. And he didn't get for at least the first few minutes how his discussions of daily life and mine are exactly the same...mine are just a little more controversial since I'm a lesbian. I think he finally got it, finally understood that it's just implied in everything he says and does that he's straight but that sometimes I have to say that I'm gay or things don't make sense.
Idk. He wasn't trying to be rude. He wasn't trying to offend. I think a little he was even trying to protect me. Indeed he did say, "Cassie, this is the midwest we're talking about here."
I just feel a little frustrated by it all. He quoted company policy on not discussing religion and politics on the floor (which he has done with me a million times, in conversations he started...).
He also mentioned that it might make another employee uncomfortable (me talking about being gay...not my sex life, just being gay).
Fact: the company is very adamant about embracing diversity (not tolerating, embracing).
Fact: if another employee has a problem with me being a lesbian, that is his/her problem. If they can't cope, they are the ones in trouble, not me.
Of course I explained all of this to him. By the end of the conversation he seemed totally on my side and sort of like he regretted saying anything. He was worried he'd offended me or made me mad.
Mostly I just feel like I'm a learning experience for him. Like I'm the trial and error. Like I'm the one who's adjusting his was of thinking about gay people. And like that's a little weird...but hey, at least he's learning right?
<3
We talked about the usual stuff: how I am amazing at my job, how much I do for the store, and how my approach for coaching conversations could use some finesse, etc.
Then comes this: "I don't know how to put this but maybe you shouldn't discuss your sexuality on the floor."
What!
I was just like really? Really? And then went into a fifteen minute lecture on how I was completely allowed to discuss my sexuality and relationship on the floor just like every other person who works there. And he didn't get for at least the first few minutes how his discussions of daily life and mine are exactly the same...mine are just a little more controversial since I'm a lesbian. I think he finally got it, finally understood that it's just implied in everything he says and does that he's straight but that sometimes I have to say that I'm gay or things don't make sense.
Idk. He wasn't trying to be rude. He wasn't trying to offend. I think a little he was even trying to protect me. Indeed he did say, "Cassie, this is the midwest we're talking about here."
I just feel a little frustrated by it all. He quoted company policy on not discussing religion and politics on the floor (which he has done with me a million times, in conversations he started...).
He also mentioned that it might make another employee uncomfortable (me talking about being gay...not my sex life, just being gay).
Fact: the company is very adamant about embracing diversity (not tolerating, embracing).
Fact: if another employee has a problem with me being a lesbian, that is his/her problem. If they can't cope, they are the ones in trouble, not me.
Of course I explained all of this to him. By the end of the conversation he seemed totally on my side and sort of like he regretted saying anything. He was worried he'd offended me or made me mad.
Mostly I just feel like I'm a learning experience for him. Like I'm the trial and error. Like I'm the one who's adjusting his was of thinking about gay people. And like that's a little weird...but hey, at least he's learning right?
<3
Friday, April 3, 2009
Go Iowa!
In case you missed it, Iowa legalized gay marriage today! Win!
Missouri and Iowa, we're neighbors...and it's a little unbelievable for me. I mean hello, this IS the midwest. I'm not really sure if this is going to make things better here in Missouri or not.
Currently it's still legal to discriminate against people based on sexuality here (in the workplace and in housing). Technically my landlord could kick me out tomorrow and my boss could fire me based soley on the fact i'm a lesbian. Lame. There is a bill going through right now (um I can't remember if it's in the house or senate though). What I'm afraid of is that the Missouri conservatives are going to have a big fit about gay marriage being legal so close to home and get really vocal about it essentially leading to the bill not being passed. On the flip side, all the positive attention could possibly help (I'm trying here)?
But anways horray for Iowa. It passed by something like 70% I think.
<3
Missouri and Iowa, we're neighbors...and it's a little unbelievable for me. I mean hello, this IS the midwest. I'm not really sure if this is going to make things better here in Missouri or not.
Currently it's still legal to discriminate against people based on sexuality here (in the workplace and in housing). Technically my landlord could kick me out tomorrow and my boss could fire me based soley on the fact i'm a lesbian. Lame. There is a bill going through right now (um I can't remember if it's in the house or senate though). What I'm afraid of is that the Missouri conservatives are going to have a big fit about gay marriage being legal so close to home and get really vocal about it essentially leading to the bill not being passed. On the flip side, all the positive attention could possibly help (I'm trying here)?
But anways horray for Iowa. It passed by something like 70% I think.
<3
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Help! The Midwest is ruining my gaydar!
Wouldn't it be nice if you had a real life gaydar gun?
Usually when you're trying to figure out if a girl is gay, you look at a few things.
Anyways, the problem is the midwest. I've decided. Soccer moms (or softball moms, or basketball moms, etc....because soccer isn't that popular in this particular area) look a lot like lesbians. You know the type I'm talking about. Short hair. Northface pullover. Tennis shoes/hiking boots. Most often seen at a sporting even. Usually this would be a pretty good indicator. Unfortunately this is how the soccer mom crowd dresses here too. They all have these really dikey haircuts and clothes...and are always seen with a gaggle of equally dikey looking women, but then their kids coming running up to hug them and ask where dad is. Failure.
Then you see some really butchy woman in carpenter jeans, boots, and a flannel shirt. Gruff voice. Sort of like Weezie (the carpenter doing the remodel in Season 6 of the L Word). Really exactly like her. She breaks the gaydar gun! Then her husband walks in and there is a five minute embrace and a talk about cattle.
What gives? What's a baby lezzie to do? How am I ever supposed to tune my gaydar when everywhere I turn, straight women are regularly dressing like gay women? Help!
<3
Usually when you're trying to figure out if a girl is gay, you look at a few things.
- clothes
- hair
- fingernails
- accessories
- presence of any rainbow gear
- general look/demeanor
Anyways, the problem is the midwest. I've decided. Soccer moms (or softball moms, or basketball moms, etc....because soccer isn't that popular in this particular area) look a lot like lesbians. You know the type I'm talking about. Short hair. Northface pullover. Tennis shoes/hiking boots. Most often seen at a sporting even. Usually this would be a pretty good indicator. Unfortunately this is how the soccer mom crowd dresses here too. They all have these really dikey haircuts and clothes...and are always seen with a gaggle of equally dikey looking women, but then their kids coming running up to hug them and ask where dad is. Failure.
Then you see some really butchy woman in carpenter jeans, boots, and a flannel shirt. Gruff voice. Sort of like Weezie (the carpenter doing the remodel in Season 6 of the L Word). Really exactly like her. She breaks the gaydar gun! Then her husband walks in and there is a five minute embrace and a talk about cattle.
What gives? What's a baby lezzie to do? How am I ever supposed to tune my gaydar when everywhere I turn, straight women are regularly dressing like gay women? Help!
<3
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