Clover Girl

One day last week I had a very interesting day at work. I was bringing a load of pastries from a store across town to my store. I parked my car by the curb and went inside to get the dolly. I brought it outside and was in the middle of propping the door open when out walked a customer.

She was about 5'10, had short dark hair, and looked like she just went on a shopping spree in the men's section of American Eagle (complete with pink AE boxers I might add). She usually comes in once a week with her mom and gets some sort of extra caramel with whipped cream breve caramel macchiato.

Anyways, she came outside and said, "oh honey you don't have to do that I'll hold the door open for you". I let her hold the door and then she asked if I needed help lifting the boxes. I reassureed her that I could handle it. After I finished I thanked her and put away my car. It was obvious she was flirting with me but I was being good and not really flirting back (much).

I made my way back inside the store and started working the drive thru. It got busy for a couple of minutes but I noticed that that girl was doing something out in the grass by the drive thru lane right by the window. I knew it had something to do with me but I wasn't really sure what.

Sure enough after I got the last car through she started making her way over. I asked her if she found something in the grass. Indeed she had not one but two four leaf clovers in her hand. She said, "I picked a four leaf clover for you. Everyone thinks they are really hard to find but I think it's pretty easy if you know where to look." This was accompanied by a lot of intense eye contact and obviously meant to hold a double meaning (lesbians aren't so hard to find if you know where to look). I sort of mumbled around a thank you and managed to smile. Clover girl then threw around some compliments and the word sweetheart a few times and strutted away.

I kid you not this all really happened!!!

My immediate reactions in no particular order: fuck my girlfriend is going to kill me!; yay I set off some girl's gaydar enough for her to give me a clover; clover girl is kind of hott; probably I get a lesbian badge for this; shit I forgot what that other customers order was; how am I going to explain this clover to my boss!

For the record Kara is not at all worried about clover girl. She thinks picking a "weed" for someone is not really the best form of flirting. Mostly I think she just knows how completly in love with her I am!

Also the next time I see clover girl I will definitely find a way to casually drop the girlfriend bomb into conversation. Leading girls on is not my thing. Besides I need lesbifriends...I think we have a candidate.
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Office Max is where the girls are at?

I walk into Office Max to get something printed since my printer is out of ink. I walk through the door and some girl asks me if I need help. Anyone who's been shopping with me before knows that I usually don't look like I need help. I have a sense of purpose or something. Anyways, even when I need help, no one asks.

So the girl asks if I need help. I respond politely and she directs me to the printing center...after she blatantly looks me up and down and makes a lot of eye contact. Hmmmm...

I don't really think much of it until the girl at the print desk sends my gaydar into overdrive. Men's khakis, wallet, short hair, attitude...check. Print girl completely prioritizes my order over the two in front of me. She talks to me the whole time about Dollhouse (Eliza Dushku) and how she thinks the star is really hott then she gives me my 9 cent print for free and tells me to have a nice day...

Then I proceed to wander around the notebooks (because I'm a total nerd and love office supplies) and a third girl asks me if I need help. Well she was just doing her job and didn't really do anything exciting but I thought it would be entertaining if I said there were three...that's all.

Moral of this story: Office Max is where the ladies are at!
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Girl Crazy

I am girl crazy. I'll be the first to admit it. Everywhere I go I see hott girls. I flirt all the time (to various degrees).

Sometimes Kara gets a little worried about it. I guess it's understandable but she really has nothing to worry about. I love her. I want her and only her.

So what's the harm of looking?

She doesn't want our mutual friends thinking I am not committed to her or that I'm looking for a new gf or something like that. I would assume they all know that. I talk about her all the time! Kara, Kara, Kara.

What do you think? Is there any harm in looking?

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What is it with gay girls and hand touching?

Hand touching is such a lesbian thing to do. Think about it. How many times have you flirted with a girl and subtly brushed your fingertips across hers? How many times has that cute girl at Starbucks let her fingers linger on yours as she hands you your coffee? What about the intense interlocking of hands before making out with your new girlfriend? You know, with the little power struggle that ends up with someone pressed against the wall?

Hand touching is one of the most discreet ways to flirt with another woman. If your gaydar has failed you (or you like flirting with straight girls...and hey, who doesn't?) then your "victim" is unlikely to think much of it. If she even notices then she'll probably assume it's an accident. And if she does notice, well chances are it's because in the past she's done a little hand touching herself. Throw in a little eye contact, a smile, a wink, whatever it is that you do, and you should be able to make your point. If you've never heard of this you should try it. Specifically if you work in an industry where you would hand something to someone (money, food, clothing) or you can find a way to pick up something that your crush has dropped.

Bonus: Guys don't know about this. I don't know if they missed the memo or if it's just too creepy to have some random guy touch your hand but the only man who has ever touched my hand in a flirtatious manner was some weird salesman...

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