My hair

...is getting long.

It needs cut, asap! I have to make an appointment for tomorrow or Friday so it will be done before Vegas.

We leave Sunday!!!!!

Less than 2 Weeks!!!

So there are less than 2 weeks til Vegas!!!! I am quite excited. 7 days off of work. In a row.

I don't quite know what to do with myself. I haven't had a week off work since I started this job in September 2005. That is nearly 4 years without a solid week of vacation.

This is much deserved!!!

So I finally came out to Karly

Last week Karly and I were hanging out, doing our Big Brothers Big Sisters thing. We'd been to the mall, had lunch, and were chilling at the apartment watching a movie and doing some crafts. During some idle conversation, Karly asked me about my relationship with Kara. Something along the lines of "so how good of friends are you and Kara? like just friends who share an apartment or bff for life..." I had been pretty convinced for awhile that Karly definitely knew I was gay. We had had lots of conversations about how she liked gay people, she introduced me to her gay cousin, she asked about Kara regularly. Idk...she's 11. 11 year old's usually know a lot more than people think.

So Karly asked about our relationship and I just gave her this look like "really Karly". The conversation that insued:

Karly: What? Why are you giving me that look.
Me: Karly, you know that Kara and I are girlfriends right? Like dating, romantic type girlfriends...
Karly: What!!!
Me: Um...I thought you knew that I was a lesbian.
Karly: NO!!!! Omg. I mean it doesn't change anything but I definitely did not know.
Me: Oh. Um now this is awkward. I'm sorry! I would have told you a little more gracefully if I didn't think you already knew....I mean we ARE facebook friends!! Didn't you read my profile??? I thought maybe your mom told me. I mean she knows for sure.
Karly: No. Definitely she didn't tell me. *awkward silence....*
Me: Right so this is awkward now. Um if you have any questions I am definitely up for answering them. Sorry about this SOS of a situation...I really thought you knew.
Karly: At least I know a lesbian now right, lol!

Later her mom called to apoligise for never telling me that she didn't tell Karly. Anyways, I think everything is going to be fine but it was certainly not my smoothest moment!!!

Oops!
<3

Power 90

Ok...so Kara and I are starting Power 90 today. Why? Well our current level of fitness and sexy muscles is low...and our ideal level of fitness and sexy muscles is higher... Our level of extra cash for the gym is low. This lead us to choose an at home workout regime.

Today we are taking measurements, doing a "fitness gram" (to gauge our level of current fitness), and actually doing the first workout. I am also taking some before pictures, but idk if Kara's going to do that part. It's not really her jam.

Anyways, I will try to update with our fantastic progress along our 90 day journey....prepared to be amazed.

OMG it's July!!!

I feel like I haven't blogged in approximately forever. I did a little calculating and it seems that my approximation was a little off....but still.

What have I been up to?

• I've been swimming with Karly a lot (BBBS)
• Bought a new swimsuit
• Bought new jeans (that are AMAZING!)
• Bought plane tickets to Vegas
• Worked a lot (almost got overtime last week lol)

I have also been taking a summer class online. Can I just mention how weird it is to be in school after being out for a year? It's even weirder that the class is online. I sort of forget about it, which is not the best, obviously. Anyways, I have to get studying for a test so I guess this is it for now.

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Stolen quiz about high school

I never do quizzes....until today. That's all.

1. Did you date someone from your school?
No. I never dated anyone in high school.

2. Did you win anything in Seniors Who's Who?
Most likely to sleep in class and still get straight A's. Most likely to party. Most likely to move away. (Small HS=lots of titles!)

3. What kind of car did you drive?
1993 Chevy Lumina. Slate blue. I really didn't even hate it.

4. It's Friday night what are you doing?
Playing on the internet? Having eating disorder angst? Partying with my bff.

5. Were you a party animal?
My senior year, yes. Otherwise, no.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
Nope.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
No. Not so good at the music thing.

8. Were you a nerd?
Medium. Prolly the smartest kid in my class. Reasonably well adjusted. Only minor fixations with things like Harry Potter.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Never. I did get a couple of detentions.

10. Do you remember your school fight song?
Yes. I was a cheerleader... um yeah.

11. Who were your favorite teachers?
Mr. Robison, Mrs. Case, Mr. Page, Mrs. Presnall,

12. Where did you sit during lunch?
At my table. It was just a table...

13.What was your school's full name?
pit of despair

14. Homecoming Court?
negative. i always announced the winner though, lol.

15. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Maybe. It's hard to say really.

16. Where did you go Senior Ditch Day?
I went on a college tour (required by my school) and then to an awesome St. Patty's day party that lasted all afternoon/night!

17. Were you in any clubs?
Yearbook (2yrs), Basketball (3yrs), Softball (3yrs), Volleyball (4yrs), Cheerleading (4 yrs), Math League (4 yrs), Scholar's Bowl (3yrs), FCCLA (2 yrs), FBLA (2 yrs), Youth Leadership, Youth Friends....I think that's about it.

19. Who was your Senior Prom date?
some boy named Ben. he was funny, not romantically interested in me (or vice versa). it was for fun!

20. Do you plan on going to your 10 year reunion?
idk...probably

21. Who was your home room teacher?
it changed every year...

22. Did you play any sports?
Basketball, Volleyball, Softball, Cheerleading...see above

23. Do you still talk to people from high school?

Not really. Occasionally people find each other on facebook for that "reconnection" factor, but we don't talk regularly, or.. in most cases, EVER.

Car Washes

I work next to a large empty parking lot next to the mall. Every Saturday from May-September, there is bound to be some sort of group having a car wash.

Once, just once, I wish there would be adults working at the car wash. Specifically hott adult females. Like this...
I don't even require that level of fitness or breast enhancement. I'd just like some hott college girls to raise money for something. Then I could go and get my car washed, donate some money for a good cause, and oogle some hott girls in bikinis. Just sayin'. As is I drive past and mutter about how 16 year old's dress these days and try to ignore the skin.

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You guys should come out with us...

After Tuesday's karaoke adventure, Kara and I swore off alcohol (for at least a week). On Thursday, we had Taco Bell and were sitting at home watching Skins on DVD. Then I got a call from Alanna. Nate (a boy Alanna and I work with) and Wesley (his boyfriend) were going to the gay bar and she wanted us to go with. After minimal amounts of convincing, we agreed to go.

Thirty minutes later I found myself walking into the Joplin gay bar. I believe it was our third visit. At this point I started to realize just how small the Joplin gay community is. I knew about 75% of the people there (or at least recognized them and knew medium amounts about their lives). Maybe on the weekends there are different people out, but not during the week. I digress.

Before we left the house, I made a serious resolve not to become a drunken mess on this outing. I think that I was quite successful. I had about 3 margaritas, played some pool, did not feel tempted to do karaoke, did not make lots of new friends, and did not ignore my girlfriend and talk to some other girl for the entire night. Improvement.

Kara, on the other hand, did not have the same resolve. She suddenly went from being mellow and chill to sitting on Alanna's lap and making her take shots. It was quite entertaining. Every few minutes she'd realize she was being bad and make lots of cute apologies.

We managed to get home without much of a hitch. Alanna came with us to crash on our couch since she was too drunk to drive home. The debauchery continued at home and Kara threw coffee bags and spatulas (do not ask me why...they thought it was really funny though). We talked a lot about those random things you always seem to think of when drunk. Then Kara put in some Advanced Barista Training (latte art) dvd. Borrrrrrrrrring. At that point I remembered that I woke up at 5:45am and took my ass to bed.

It seems like we've been going out a lot lately. This has to stop. I'm never going out again (for at least a couple of weeks)!

<3

Karaoke Mess

I got my way and went to big gay karaoke night on Tuesday. There were thunderstorms and tornado warnings until about 9:30pm, so when we finally got to Murphy's at 10:30pm, it wasn't exactly busy. There were about 25 or so people there and karaoke was definitely happening.

Unfortunately, it wasn't really the party I was hoping for. There was one emo boy who must have just gotten his heart broken. He sang really sad songs every time it was his turn (which was every fifth or sixth time). There were a couple of people who were actually really good though which mostly evened it out.

There was also a creepy straight dude who kept trying to weasel his way in with some lesbians. He didn't even speak English very well, which made for interesting conversations. Mostly it went like this:

Creepy Straight Dude: Are you two girls together?
Us: Yes (ignore)
CSD: You want some man?
Us: No thanks (ignore, walk away, loudly say what the fuck)
*rinse and repeat every time we got up to get more drinks*

I was mostly bored and just started drinking lots of beer and smoking lots of cigarettes. Kara was absorbed in texting. Our friend Alanna was just chilling. Nothing too exciting was happening at our table. About halfway through the night some girls Kara knows showed up (Caitlin and Megan). They sat down and made things a lot more interesting.

One thing led to another and we ended up at a party at Caitlin's house. We played beer pong (and almost won damnit!). There were a lot of people there and somehow I got seperated from Kara and Alanna. I think I spent most of the night smoking on the back porch with Megan and talked her leg off about god knows what. I was really, really drunk.

Finally, we got home around 3am and fell drunkenly into bed. Why is it when I say I'm going to go out and it's going to be really chill, I often end up getting really drunk and acting wild?

I think I'll blame it on the alcohol.
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Pride Karaoke

So my favorite local karaoke bar/hole in the wall is having pride karaoke tonight (probably to raise money for the pride picnic in the park this weekend).

I really want to go. A lot.

How to convince Kara? She works til 10:30pm so idk if she'll be up for it....but it will be really fun. No cover. The guy who runs the karaoke makes your voice sound awesome. Joplin's finest gaymos. What more could you ask for?

Send positive vibes.
<3

Addicted!!!

I bought Sims 3 for my iPod touch on Friday and have barely found the time to go to work, let alone shower or talk to my girlfriend! She's addicted too.

I just can't pull myself away! Help!

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Swimsuits

Ugh. Swimsuits are the bane of my existence. Unfortunately, I really need a new one. The one I have is from 2005...so um 4 years.

Can I just say swimsuit shopping is hell. First you have to take off all your clothes (except panties are required by law blah blah blah) which takes forever. Then you try on the micro pieces of lycra in very unflattering light. Then you critique your body to death and wish you'd been tanning. Then you remember skin cancer. You still wish you'd been tanning or at least jogging. You remove micro-lycra nonsense and get dressed again. Then you go back out and search for a different size/color/fit/pattern. Repeat from the beginning. Decide you'd rather swim naked. Bounce.


Except then it's June and you still don't have a swimsuit. Which is where I am...angst! (above photo is one that I really like from Victoria's Secret but I'm about 85% sure that it would not be so great for my body type...)

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Things I really want to do in Vegas

So after officially deciding that we are going to Las Vegas, the first thing we did yesterday was ask off of work. Done! One week vacation. This is good news!

Then I spent a couple of hours googling for things that I want to do while we're there. So far I've found a few things...

The Sirens of Treasure Island

A free show outside the Treasure Island hotel/casino. Basically a 20 minute sirens vs. pirates battle complete with fire and lots of scantily clad women.


The Show in the Sky

A free show at the Rio. A burlesque style show set to popular music. Three different performances with slightly different themes...all hott.


Cirque du Soleil: Zumantiy

Description from their website: "Zumanity, the Sensual Side of Cirque du Soleil, is a seductive twist on reality, making the provocative playful and the forbidden electrifying! Leave all inhibitions at the door and let loose as this adult-themed production takes you on a sexy thrill ride full of sensational acrobatics and naughty fun. Part burlesque and part cabaret, Zumanity is one full night you'll never forget! "

Not a free option but something we REALLY want to do.


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Vegas!

We are going to Las Vegas the last week in July! I'm really, really excited.




I haven't been on an actual vacation since I was 16, so 5 years!!!

Excitement!!!

<3

I think she knows

My Little. Karly. I think that she knows I'm a lesbian. Maybe her mom told her. Maybe she figured it out. Who knows? The problem is that I am pretty sure she knows.

Why is this a problem? I mean obviously I'm out at work, to my immediate family, and to all of my friends. Her mom knows I am a lesbian and is fine with it.

The reason I am worried about it is because I don't want her to think I am lying to her. I don't want her to think I'm hiding it from her (even though essentially I am). I just want her to trust me.

Now what do I do? Talk to her mom? Talk to her? Continue to ignore the situation?

<3

Here's your Check

From time to time I get annoyed about the little things. One thing that is particularly annoying to me is how waiters/waitresses often assume that Kara is paying for dinner.


Am I not a gainfully employed adult? I wear more makeup and don't wear men's clothing. Does this mean I can't pay for dinner? For that matter when I occasionally eat with male friends they ALWAYS put the check in front of the guy I'm with. Couldn't they just put the check in the middle of the table every time, no matter who the customers?

Kara and I usually alternate paying for dinner and sometimes just split the check if our food is very expensive. Time and time again they put the check on her side of the table.

I guess I'd just like to put it out there that I'm not a fan.
<3

Summer

It's pretty officially summer in my mind. I know it doesn't actually start until an arbitrary date on a calendar somewhere, but in my heart, it's summer.

The sun is shining. The grass is green. It smells like honeysuckle and sunscreen (ok so maybe the sunscreen is just me...). The point is that summer is here and I'm really thrilled about it.

Today is our day off. We woke up around 10am, went to the farmers market and bought some amazing looking broccoli and spinach. We ran by Starbucks and grabbed coffee. Now what to do?
It's a beautiful day. Maybe we'll go to a local park or go for a hike or something. Or maybe we'll call up a friend with a pool and lounge around on a raft.

One thing is for sure...what I want to do is celebrate the summer before it's the middle of August and it's so hot I can't bear it!

What a disappointment

Forget my previous statement about not ranting about Prop 8. I am thoroughly disappointed in the state of California!

I know that the previous generation only hoped to be worrying about gay marriage. I know the in some states gay people can still be evicted from their homes or fired from their jobs just for being gay (hello Missouri).

I know that the fact it's even being talked about is a big deal, but it's not enough. LGBT individuals will eventually share all of the same rights as the rest of the population. It's just a matter of when.

Still, California has a history of being socially progressive. For me, a person who has always lived in the very conservative midwest, I like to look at more liberal states as a source of hope, as an example of changes that will hopefully make their way to middle America in the next decade. This is why I'm so disappointed that California upheld Prop 8. All the Missouri conservatives just nod their heads knowingly and say things like "it's about time people in California got some sense," and well that just makes me feel sad and defeated.

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Hottness of the Week: Ellen Page

Because I don't actually have anything interesting to post about and I refuse to rant about Prop 8 on my blog...at least for now.

Ellen Page. She's hott.




She's also working very closely with Drew Barrymore to make that roller derby movie...and we all know roller derby is hott!!!




They have been hanging out a lot and I'm hoping they are happily fucking.




Page is good at rocking the androgyny card. Especially in the film Hard Candy (screen shot below).




I particularly like this last photo...



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Happy Memorial Day Weekend!!!

I am going out tonight...yay!
Beers + queers = success!
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